25
Apr 12

Ahhh… so that’s what happened!

The Great and Powerful People’s Democratic Republic of North Korea is pleased to announce that, in accordance with U.N. resolutions, it has voluntarily taken action to observe the most honorable no-fly zone over its inviolable sovereign territory by shooting down the marvelous Unha 3 space vehicle immediately after a spectacularly successful launch. We took this step to demonstrate how, upon the 100th anniversary of our Great Leader, our People’s Republic is both a wildly prosperous country with superior military capabilities and a deep respect for international laws and conventions.

While shooting down such a powerful missile so soon after launch is a very difficult task, our brave soldiers fulfilled this task by firing multiple, well-timed volleys with their personal weapons from nearby mountain tops. All hail North Korea, her Army, our Great Leader, and his weanie-assed God-given spoiled brat of a Grandson!!

UPDATE: Kim Jong-Un Says “We Meant to Do That!”
North Korean leaders have just announced that they had been aiming at capitalist fish and that their launch was entirely successful. Kim Jong Un noted that the launch was merely a warning shot should Godzilla decide to leave Japan alone and attack North Korea instead.


11
Apr 12

It’s all so clear now…

How To Write Good
by Frank L. Visco

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

  1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  13. Don’t be redundant; don’t more use words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. Profanity sucks.
  15. Be more or less specific.
  16. Understatement is always best.
  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

05
Mar 12

Things people say to photographers…

Maybe I’ll think twice about portraiture…


25
Feb 12

Dated, but still a gem…


21
Feb 12

New Rules: Bill Maher on GOP Racism Toward Obama


18
Feb 12

Hmmmm… it just may work


06
Jan 12

Of course I’m a hummingbird… duh!

This guy was trying his best to get to the sugar water… he sat and watched the hummingbirds, then came over to try it himself.


15
Nov 11

Gotta love those infomercials…

Saturday Night Live’s Shake Weight parody
The actual Shake Weight infomercial already seemed like a parody. SNL managed to take it one step further.


14
Nov 11

Hello ladies!

Captions below:
Continue reading →


03
Nov 11

Google Does A Barrel Roll

It’s becoming viral on the Internet

Type “Do a barrel roll” in any Google search box and your screen will do a barrel roll!

Really! It will!

If you’re using Chrome, type it in the URL field…