The Great and Powerful People’s Democratic Republic of North Korea is pleased to announce that, in accordance with U.N. resolutions, it has voluntarily taken action to observe the most honorable no-fly zone over its inviolable sovereign territory by shooting down the marvelous Unha 3 space vehicle immediately after a spectacularly successful launch. We took this step to demonstrate how, upon the 100th anniversary of our Great Leader, our People’s Republic is both a wildly prosperous country with superior military capabilities and a deep respect for international laws and conventions.
While shooting down such a powerful missile so soon after launch is a very difficult task, our brave soldiers fulfilled this task by firing multiple, well-timed volleys with their personal weapons from nearby mountain tops. All hail North Korea, her Army, our Great Leader, and his weanie-assed God-given spoiled brat of a Grandson!!
UPDATE: Kim Jong-Un Says “We Meant to Do That!”
North Korean leaders have just announced that they had been aiming at capitalist fish and that their launch was entirely successful. Kim Jong Un noted that the launch was merely a warning shot should Godzilla decide to leave Japan alone and attack North Korea instead.
